Spoiler Alert: It GOES BOTH WAYS
Growing up surrounded by beautiful curvy women it was hard to love my body. I wanted big boobies like my mom and sister. I wanted defined hips like my aunts. And I sure as hell wanted a big booty like my cousins. Unfortunately for me, my body ignored my wishes, and I developed into (more or less) a toothpick.
So yeah…..I have always been skinny and there has always been someone to remind me of that. People constantly tell me I need to eat more or ask if I am on a diet. The amount of times random men have tried to flirt with me and then go on to say “you need some more meat on your bones” is unbelievable.
Ik some of you might be thinking, “ poor skinny girl”. I get that it sounds dramatic to you, but my feelings are valid. Here’s why:
No one’s body should constantly be the topic of discussion/under scrutiny.
That’s the thing about it though. When you’re thin people feel like it’s okay to make comments about your shape. If someone were to constantly call a bigger women “chubby” they would be an asshole, and rightfully so. But if someone calls a woman skinny over and over it isn’t a problem. That’s because skinny is supposed to be good in our (backwards) world. Society’s pressure to be slim makes it even harder for thin girls to express their insecurities. It’s like we’re not allowed to say anything because we’re skinny. There are many misconceptions when it comes to being skinny so let me debunk them real quick.
People always think that I’m 100% confident in my body
- Uh, no. It took me a while to accept that I probably will never be thick or have big boobs. I’m okay with it now, but there are still days when I wish I were blessed with curves.
People feel like it’s ok to make comments about my body
-I’m sick and tired of ppl saying stuff because they don’t think it’s an insult. Just because you’re not calling me fat, doesn’t mean you can just say anything about my body -especially if idk you.
People have the audacity to tell me how I should feel about their comments
-They are surprised to learn I hate being called skinny. They think it’s a compliment and ik some intend for it to be one. But talking about my weight over and over again doesn’t make me feel beautiful. Instead it makes me wonder if I look too skinny, which brings me to my next point.
The moment your not hungry everyone thinks you're anorexic
-Sure no one remembers the time you ate 6.5 slices of pizza, but they will never forget the moment you pass up on a cookie.
For some reason everyone thinks, I WANT TO BE SKINNY
-I’m fine with my current weight but a lil gainz would not hurt. I have been trying to gain muscle weight for a while now, but it’s so hard (just like losing weight is hard for some people).
Scroll Down to see why I just snapped....hehehe.
The goal of this post isn't to ALL LIVES MATTER fat shaming by any means. I just want to bring to light the struggles that all sizes face and get a conversation going. We have created an environment that makes it impossible for women to discuss their insecurities and body shaming experiences. Skinny girls are "too thin" to have a say in body shaming and if they do voice their opinions they are being "dramatic". When bigger girls express their experiences with body shaming they are often ignored and excluded. If we're all too "big or thin" to talk about body shaming, then who gets a say in this conversation? We are silencing each other by challenging the legitimacy of everyone’s struggle. In order to create a safe space for all sizes to share our body shaming/insecurities it’s important that we acknowledge privilege & listen.
I know that my weight makes me privileged. People automatically think that I’m healthy, I have never been discriminated against in the workplace, and for the most part stores always offer my size. Bigger people (especially women) don’t have it as easy. Even as society is making an effort to be plus size and curve friendly, big women are still oppressed. People assume that they are lazy because of their size. Some face discrimination in the workplace. They are often targets of bullying and harassment. If they have health conditions, they are more likely to be shamed by doctors. All of these things happen because we have been brainwashed to believe that skinny is the most desirable shape. It’s crucial that thin girls understand, even though we experience body shaming we are not OPPRESSED (in relation to weight). Dealing with mean girls & assholes is nowhere close to the systematic oppression our bigger seesters might face.
Girls we also have to listen to each other because we have more things in common than we think. Like some women have to deal with major boob leakage, but I struggle to fill my tits in deep v necks. See? Our problems are not all too different -it just feels a million times worse when you’re the one that’s dealing with it. So before we decide who’s entitled to bitch about their body issues, let’s hear each other out. The truth of the matter is that we can all be body shamed at any given moment. Let’s create a culture where we can express our feelings about these experiences - and fight back together:)
Thnx for listening to my TedTalk,